How to become the best version of yourself in 2021|Series| 4 Steps to heal your mind!

"Your mind is your instrument. Learn to be its master and not its slave." -Remez Sasson

Overthinking and overanalyzing your circumstances and the world around you can often leave you feeling constrained and tense. Over the years I have taught myself how to control those thoughts and it has been the main tool I have used to "hide" my anxiety from the people around me. In the last 7 years, I led an amazing team that needed me to make decisions and guide them with clarity and confidence. My anxious feelings would have easily projected onto them if I had allowed these to get the better of me. Most days I unknowingly used the steps I am sharing with you today to keep my busy mind open to those around me.

Please do not get me wrong. I do not want you to hide or suppress anything that you are feeling or experiencing. But rather learn to reason with your ever-busy mind. Use these tools to assist you in controlling how you act on those thoughts. And with practice, this can become an automated response to negative or unrationed thinking.

Just as I believe that the soul is part of the feminine part of your being. I believe that the mind falls into the masculine side of who you are. This is the area where your common sense or logic resides. It also represents your reason. Your feelings and emotions can without a doubt influence your thoughts, however, when you learn how to balance these two sides of you, how you act on your thoughts will become intentional rather than an impromptu response.

As human beings, we do not recognize the profound connections of every little thing in our world. What we think today, has an impact on how we feel and vice versa. Our bodies respond to this by illness, acne, posture, even the speed at which you are walking. Have you noticed how you speed up when you are stressed and slow down when you just received bad news and your thoughts have taken over your mind? In your mind, go back to a time when you remember having overwhelming thoughts or emotions. Now, in your mind's eye, look at the people around you. It might be your colleagues, your kids, or a partner. Watch them carefully. How did their behaviors, mood, and body language change after interacting with you? What happened before the change? Why did it change? Was it the tone of your voice, the words you used, or perhaps they responded to your body language? And when they continue with the next task or event on their agenda for the day. It may be a meeting with a group of people. Your kids go to school and interact with all their friends. Can you see how this turns into a ripple effect and it all started with what you, only one person, thought and felt somewhere in your day.

We do not only need to be the best version of ourselves, for ourselves but everyone around us. Because it can quite literally change the world! The impact this has on our children and who they become in this life is invaluable.

So here goes. The first step I am taking to heal the mind is to listen.

Learn how to listen to your inner voice. It can be your biggest enemy however you have to understand why. What is this voice telling you? Where is it getting this information? Is it true? Is there evidence? Or is it assumption based? You have the power to decide which parts of this information you want to keep and what parts you want to remove so that it no longer takes up space or energy inside your mind. Now that you have decided which "data" you are keeping, you need to decide how to act on these pieces of information. Because that is what thoughts are. It is how your mind processes the world around it. It is data that is coming in from outside and altered for you to make better sense of.

As a mom, I find the best time to listen is while I am taking a shower. This is when the voice becomes loud and extremely active. I can also respond to it the best at this time. Another good time for listening is when I am cleaning or more so organizing. There is something about physically organizing something, anything really, that just helps me organize my thoughts at the same time. I can discern between the positive and negative information, compartmentalize what I find useful, and "delete" the data I find of no use to my growth and development as a human being.

Another way to listen is what most of us call meditation. I believe this has many names. Quiet time, prayer, reflection, musing, and deliberation amongst others. They are all a time we use to focus. Pay attention to what thoughts are trying to steal your focus when you are in these moments. Most of the time we use these exercises to practice the act of focusing our minds. However, there is value in looking at what the voice inside is trying to tell you and what it is using to get your attention. I promise you that once you have listened and heard what it has to say and understand why. When you go back to your practice again, your focus will be much stronger because you have cleared the path. You have kept the good thoughts to feed your soul and get rid of any cloudiness that was left.

The second step on your journey to healing the mind is to limit or eliminate social media.

We use social media to feel connected to the world. The problem is that we are lonelier than ever. And in the background, our subconscious is being fed messages of why we might not be as popular as the next person. Your mind is processing information in the background about what beautiful people should look like and what material things you need to have to look good and be accepted in the world or at least by the people that you aspire to be or be part of. Science and phycology have proved that we start looking at ourselves differently. And that inner voice might try to convince you that you are not enough and not worthy of whatever you are seeking in life. That you need to change. And we are not talking about the change that comes with growth. These are not changes that are needed for our survival but that inner "roommate" as Michael A. Singer calls it, might make you believe that it is.

Any time you spend on social media is taking you away from the present. From the life that is happening around you right now. It feeds us mostly unnecessary information which complicates our already complex lives and overwhelmed minds. How many times can you honestly say that you felt enriched by the time you spent on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Pinterest? That these helped you grow and not just made you feel more unsuccessful than you already did.

Let's move on to the third step. Did you know you have superpowers? They feed your mind without you having to do any intentional actions. These are your senses and the 5 most popular ones are called: smell, taste, hearing, sight, and touch.

They have the power to create some of your strongest memories. And if used to their full advantage, can release all kinds of amazing hormones in your body. Making you feel happier and healthier in return. Automatically silencing that inner voice or at least those negative or irrational thoughts.

Personally, I find the sense of smell the most powerful without a doubt. When I smell a familiar fragrance it instantly transports me to a happy time with someone I love. The smell of cooking oil takes me back to my solo trip in Vietnam where I suddenly got really sick, without knowing at the time that I was pregnant. Believe it or not, this is a happy memory after struggling with infertility for years.

Touch comes in as a very close second. As a child, I never enjoyed receiving hugs or someone even touching my arm. But after working through some of those feelings, touch has become a very special tool with which I have to build strong connections within myself with others. When someone touches your hand when they can see you struggling inside your mind, it stops the world for a second, just enough to bring your eyes up to theirs. Superpowers!

So go out there and have a delicious meal with your favorite people. Take a walk in the park. Look at the dewdrops on the leaves of trees. The water glistening in the sun. Remember your first kiss or running in the rain with your kids. When you open your eyes in the morning, lay still for a moment and listen to the birds outside or the sound of a waking city. Smell the fresh coffee beans being blended while the kettle is whistling in the background. Feel the wind on your face and through your hair, and when it blows just right, you can almost smell the ocean breeze from your last road trip to the ocean back in 2019.

And whatever peaks your senses, get more of that in your life! Notice how the memories or thoughts they bring to the top of your mind, make you feel good, enriched, and connected to everything around you. Where is that inner voice now?

I can talk about this forever but let's move on to the fourth step in your healing for 2021.

This is most probably the most important of all. And that is to realize that you are not the voice in your mind.

"To be aware that you are watching the voice talk is to stand on the threshold of a fantastic inner journey." Michael A. Singer

Your inner voice is what buffers you from life itself. The voice talks because something inside of you is not ok. It might be that you are experiencing self-doubt, you are nervous, or desire something that you can not acquire at the moment. It is usually during trying times when the voice in your mind becomes more active. When you decide to start living your life, no buffers and learn to embrace everything that makes you uncomfortable, you will experience peace and serenity in your mind and life. Your mind will suddenly open to all the possibilities around you and nothing seems impossible any longer.

Your inner voice will always be there but by using these tools I have given you, I hope that you can reclaim your life. Take control of your mind once again and soar!

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Disclaimer: I am not a professional in any of the areas mentioned above. The information in this article is purely from my own experience and opinion.