How to become the best version of yourself in 2021|Series| 4 Steps to heal your soul!

This year has not gone as planned for most of us. Surprisingly my word for 2020 I would say, is growth. With all the challenges this year has brought, I feel that I have grown in so many areas of my life. But that is what hard times bring, isn't it? Now with 2021 around the corner, I want to focus on healing as my theme for next year. I am looking forward to allowing myself some time to process all the changes I have gone through as an individual and embrace them fully in 2021.

I was inspired to start this series of blogs, after listening to a podcast about Feminine Energy and wanted to implement this in my own life. Being a mom means that I sometimes need to approach things a little differently to make them more realistic in my daily life as I don't just have myself to think of.

In the past 2 to 3 years I have struggled with the balance between my roles as a mom, a partner, and a former leader in a large company. Managing all of these roles left me drained in the masculine or dominant side of my being. Even though this might sound like a gender-related statement. It actually has nothing to do with your sexual orientation at all. We all have a masculine and feminine side or energy, if you will.

Your masculine side represents your logic and reason. This is the side that generally takes action and acquires material needs. It is all about your common sense and your need for survival.

On the other hand, your feminine side represents your intuition. This is the motherly side of you that wants to nurture, heal and create a sense of calm. This side is all about being emotionally aware. And let me tell you, I have been a mess at some stages of the past year. But this side is also your creative side that expresses and communicates emotions in different ways.

In my experience and opinion, the majority of our soul falls inside this feminine side of all of us. And if that part of you has been neglected, you might feel a bit emotionally overwhelmed or out-of-balance on the feeling side of things.

So how do you start the process of healing your soul?

Personally, I have become very aware of the sense of flow in my life, or at least the lack thereof. What do I mean by this? Well, you know when things in your life just feel right? Things seem to work for you, rather than against you? That is what I want to get back!

So the first step I am taking towards getting that state of flow back, is planning. Now, I know that this might sound like something that falls into the masculine side. But, by planning my day or week, I am making a commitment to myself to ensure that:

1. I am not overcommitting myself to the point of exhaustion.

2. I can ensure that I am taking life at a reasonable and realistic pace.

3. I am balanced in all areas of my life- Family time, YouTube time, Blogging time, Reading time, and self-care time. And self-care is something we will dig into a little deeper seeing that I believe that most of us are doing this one wrong!

By putting together a SIMPLE plan of achieving one goal per day, you will feel more successful and your confidence in yourself will once again start to grow. Because life is not just happening to you. When you allow yourself some grace and stop being so hard on yourself, and expecting too much of yourself, you are not in control of your life any longer. Do you see how this is very much related to taking care of that feminine side?

I am a total notebook kind planner. I love writing and the satisfaction of ticking something off with a pen.

Use whatever is simplest for you. And more importantly, what you are going to stick to and turn into a habit. If it is a magnetic notepad on the fridge or an app on your phone, it needs to work for you!

Alright, then the second step is to make time for yourself.

This one is probably the most challenging, especially if you are a parent and have little humans running around to take care of. But this is also where that self-care comes in. As I mentioned, I have changed my understanding of the phrase.

Self-care in today's world doesn't have to mean that you have hours or days available to unwind and refresh. Yes, it is wonderful if you have this luxury, however, sometimes it is the little resets that make all the difference in the long run.

When you do not have time, take 2 minutes. It can be once a day or several times throughout your day. See this as a "pause" or a "time-out". Set a timer if you need to. Now:

1. Close your eyes. Right there where you are, or if you can go somewhere you can be alone, do that.

2. You want to focus ONLY on your breath.

3. Clear your mind from anything else that is going on at this moment.

4. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Listen to the air that is filling your lungs before you release it again. Feel your chest rise and fall.

5. Imagine the air as a light. In your mind, look at how the light becomes brighter with each inhale and how it softly fades with every exhale.

6. Repeat this for 2 minutes.

7. Open your eyes. How do you feel?

This exercise will help you slow down the crazy world around you, whatever might be going on. And now that your mind is clear and focused, you can choose the next moment.

We are always rushing and chasing the next thing. We are constantly in survival mode. Never living and enjoying our lives to the fullest. You need to choose each day and choose what or who you are giving your precious energy away to.

I also see self-care as getting not only enough sleep but also better quality sleep. I have struggled with sleep this year whereas before I could literally sleep on demand. Anywhere and anytime. So I invested in my sleep by working on my hormones. You get a couple of different progesterone serums out there but I am currently using the Progessence Plus Serum from Young Living. And let me tell you, this has increased the quality of my sleep tenfold!

Another self-care activity I believe in strongly, is reading. But not just any books. Books that help me understand myself better. These are not your regular self-development books. Those are great but when you want to focus on your feminine soul, it is all about acceptance and empathy towards yourself. Yes, we want to learn and grow, and believe me these books will still help you towards that, but in a gentle and nurturing way. By creating space for yourself, just as you are, right now.

Making or finding time to wash your hair or shave is NOT "self-care". From now on, I am going to call these activities, body-maintenance. Of course, you feel good when you do these, but they do not feed your soul! Neither does that pedicure you have been looking forward to. Unless you take a great audiobook with you! The saying that goes "When you look good, you feel good" definitely has its own truth but how long before you need to chase that feeling again?

So let's move on to the third step which is what I call your creative-magic! Find something you can lose yourself in. Where you can forget time and express yourself and your feelings. This one is so much fun because it can be anything. And again you don't necessarily have to do this on your own unless you want to. What am I saying? Most parents probably want to be alone when they get lost in their creative magic. But you know what? Why not teach our children to express what they feel in a beautiful way!

I have found my creative magic in journaling and writing lately. It is what I am doing right now. Writing down my thought, my feelings, my hopes, and my dreams. But this can be whatever you want it to be. Painting, drawing, baking. Putting on your favorite music and having a dance party. Build a fort, you can make it as simple or as decorative as you want, and have a movie night.

Another one I love, are tattoos. I love seeing other people's hearts on their sleeves. It tells their story. Every tattoo represents a time in their life. How they were feeling and what they were going through.

It is so important to let our emotions out in some way or form. The good and the bad. And how beautiful would it be if everyone used their creative magic to channel these feelings regularly! By suppressing our emotions, we create a black hole inside our soul which grows, festers, and before you know it, feels like it is going to swallow you alive because it has been unattended to for long.

And then the fourth and final step to pouring some love into that feminine energy, is to find and spend time with YOUR people. This year and isolation have made this very challenging, I know. But if you are able to spend time with just one person who you know feeds your soul, then do it.

It doesn't necessarily mean your partner although they might be that person for you. It can be your sister or best friend. How do you know you are spending time with the right person? You can talk to them until the break of dawn. About nothing important or you can pour your heart out to them. When you are with them, you forget time. Allow them to build you up and energize you by just being there.

Now if you are not doing it yet, I do want to stress how important it is to evaluate the people in your life every few years. We all change, our life circumstances change and someone who used to energize you, might have become the opposite in the last few years. Talk to them, check in on where they are in life and you might find that they need you right now.

I understand that no one person can give from themselves unconditionally. And that is why you need to recognize if things are not turning around and perhaps that person will never be what they once were to you. If your love, support, and time does not change anything in your relationship, it might be time to make some tough decisions.

And this chapter of your relationship does not need to end abruptly or even broken for that matter. Sometimes you need to allow it to run its course and fade into something a little less draining to your now HEALING soul!

You can check out my youtube channel with the video linked to this blog below.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional and everything I discuss or mention in this blog is purely from my own experience and of my own opinion.