Why you need to be OK with the feels and let others see THAT you!

I am starting this blog from my perspective as a mom, even though it is relevant to a large variety of personal experiences. Keep reading!

Picture this...

You know when you have those off days. You ignore your feelings because you have a little one, or two, or three small humans... and perhaps a partner who depends on you. Without you, schedules and routines just seem to fall apart and before you know it, you have a toddler on a sugar high, overtired and screaming at the top of their lungs because they do not want the dinner that you spent hours preparing. Your partner thinks that you are overreacting when you let the smallest bit of your emotions slide, while your baby is crying in the background because she is hungry or has been constipated for three days.

The laundry never stops piling up, like the dirty dishes all over the house. Actually dusting and washing the floors have become a luxury that very few seem to get to, if not in the midnight hours.

And then THAT day comes when you cannot keep it together any longer... You break down in whatever way. Some of us just go silent. Some lose their "cool". But all that most of us want to do at that exact moment is lie down in a dark room. And cry and sleep and cry and sleep... This is what we NEED. If just for one day. And then be allowed to come back, gently. Take a shower for the first time in two days. Grab something to eat, a meal that you can finish in a quiet place, with no interruption. No messes to clean up. No dishes or laundry to stare at. A moment to process those emotions that you have been suppressing for so long before it all came crashing out! A moment to Pause. To Breathe. And to Choose!

Choose to try again. Try to react differently. Try to do better next time. Because that is what we do as moms. As parents. As family and as friends.

Does this sound familiar?

After all the crying, and a little rest, we feel guilt. Sadness. And more often than not, very self-critical. We are supposed to be mothers, fathers, and partners with successful careers and happy families. That is what society expects. What we expect from ourselves.

We are strong, aren't we?

We are made for this, aren't we?

How can I let myself break down like this?

Am I the only one feeling this pressure? ALL THE TIME?

So let's break this down, shall we?

With all the unhealthy air we breathe, processed and unhealthy food we eat, perhaps it could be blamed on our bodies and hormones being out of wack. This is definitely a contributing factor to keep in mind. Perhaps your plate is too full like mine once was. This leaves your entire life feeling out of balance and you are barely surviving under all the pressure. Perhaps you have been struggling with mental health issues all your life or perhaps some traumatic event triggered these problems that you are facing right now. The overwhelming feelings. Leaving you feeling helpless and out of control.

But no matter the cause. Your feelings are valid! Your emotions and feelings are real! You are feeling them as clearly as you can feel a needle prick your skin or a knife through your heart. And you are allowed to feel them! They are yours! They are taking up space in your mind, in your physical body, and in your heart.

If you do not have the opportunity to feel them alone, in a dark room, then feel them around your children. Around your partner. They need to know mommy and daddy can hurt too! That we can be scared. And that we can feel these "not so nice" feelings as strongly as we can feel LOVE or JOY!

The people around you need to see that you are "BRAVE" because you can be vulnerable. And show vulnerability.

This teaches those around you, especially our children, how to connect with others on a different level. It teaches them to open up, all of themselves, and be seen. Even when it is not comfortable or easy. And it teaches them how to create a safe space for others to be vulnerable in.

That my 2, 3_breathe community is HUMAN CONNECTION. That is why you are still here, reading this article. Because you have been here. It is not elegant or pretty. But it is oh so glorious! And so very very rare to find.

If you are a parent. A partner. A teacher(all of us are, in some way or another). A friend.

You care!

I cannot express how important it is to teach this lesson to another human being! And to teach our little ones these valuable lessons of life, might be the biggest honor of all!

To show them that it is OK to feel. The good and the bad.

Teach them how to work through those feelings, accept those feelings, and move forward.

To feel what they are feeling. Allow them to show you, the deepest darkest parts of themselves. Be there for them. Just BE.

Be the beacon of light that keeps them grounded. And eventually, help them out of that scary place which you might know just as well in your own life.

And allow others to be your beacon! Reach out for help when the darkness is pulling you too far down and you feel that you cannot get out on your own.

You are BRAVE when you are Vulnerable! This is not a sign of weakness but rather of wisdom and strength.

Teach this to others. Teach this to your children.

Because very few will.